When the rain started to pour, my eyes started to cry

So I'm back! It's been a while since I wrote a post. Busy? Not quite. But I better be because otherwise, it would just made me think of bad things about myself and around. This week has been a tough one for me, emotionally. I don't know but I should have been happy as this is the last week of my suffering in Eastwood, specifically in which I was with one team mate which is so vaguely irritating, insensitive, child-like, curseful (if that word exists, I know it's not. hahaha), and whatnot. Whatnot, I mean, just give a word that describes the feeling where you want to cry because his the one you don't want to be with as a partner at work. And, it's so unbelievable for me to manage that in one month and two weeks. Haha. Last Wednesday at work, I can't help but cry thinking about my situation and thinking about wrong things after reading blogs of my college friends/acquaintance. Maybe, you're asking why I had managed to make drama while at work. I had done so since there's just a little volume of work that day. I just had felt that I'm alone, unhappy, and empty. The happy-me had gone. Thoughts all came that time, making me feel helpless and uncontented. Thoughts that I have been ranting about since day one in this blog. I forgot that I already took actions on that by thinking positive things about why I'm here and why I should be here now. It's like all negative chakras in the world entered my physical body and soul. Helpless and alone, I chatted one of my idol and told her all my emotional baggages that time. I was not able to control my emotions that I ran off to the comfort room and burst. I cried. A lot.

After that, I was a little ok. And I continued my drama moments at the house. Thanks to my little sister. She listened, though she was not that serious about my drama. But I know, she's learning some lessons from me. I'm always saying to her that she should now know what she wants to be, so it would not be too late to reach for the stars. Also it would not be difficult for her to start after college. No regrets. Or should I say, less regrets.

Today, I went back to the positive thoughts I made to help myself. Like other people say, it's ourselves, our own thoughts that make us feel what we feel. So maybe I should make my thoughts the other way around. I should start it with myself. Thinking of things that would make feel happier and contented. The problem with us humans, that we always see what we don't have rather than what we have. Same as to being insecure that makes us being depress. We became insecure because we always compare. And in comparing, we always see the highlights of other people and our own lowlights.

Last Wednesday, the rain started to pour. (ooh, wet season here you are! ) And my eyes started to cry. But I know just like any weather, after the rain there's a rainbow and the sun will come to shine. I will shine.