PH jitters

I am writing this post to say something about guys. I'm an  22-year old, NSBSB gal. I am being such a hopeless romantic, bitter for some other gals who had found and experienced to love and be loved, to be hurt and moved on, yet continues to finding their perfect one.

I don't have any suitors. Not even one. No one has the courage. Maybe I have the problem. Or probably. universe doesn't just want to let me because he knows very well, that I'm puss (sorry for being sexist, lol)y in  love.

I admit I registered and signed in in a porn site. I guess, I'm part of the 93% of that women who watches porn, and do that personal thing you do to satisfy yourself. And from there, my share begins.

Men really love body, yeah? I mean they start liking a person when one shows off a motive that she wants to fucking do it like by exposing some skin, your tits or you pie as a set of example. Guy would say i love you, just by a picture with your tits exposed? Come on! How would you say that you love the person, by not merely talking to that person, not knowing any-fucking-thing about that person, even seeing her in person. Oh, may be I'm just being a romantic here. I love you is really a vague set of words. I love you could mean anything, that it could also mean nothing. Just a set of words. May be he loves my body. Ok, thanks for the compliment.

Guys are really a-holes. Porn sites are a legit virtual proof to prove that. It's quite inviting to experiment and have some fun with guys online. But I'm still not into doing it. I don't know how to interact, how to speak, how to give them what they want. Like the way I don't know how to share my love if ever time comes I found the one. But I am excited and hungry to be with that one, be what I am, and express my love for him. Actually, I am overwhelmed that there are people who really appreciate my body. I never thought of that. guys are really into physical attributes and looks like fun and sex.

Ok. Let's stop here. I'm not being fair. I am generalizing men now. The truth I know is that I really don't know anything about guys. I barely know them, and know nothing about their behaviors. I have guy friends which could be counted on one's fingers. So how would I know them, and moreover, how could I say something bad about them.

But please, dear universe, if the time comes that the one and I cross our paths, meet each other deeply, I hope he is excited too to meet me. I really really hope that knows me deeply and consequently appreciates me for whatever I am. And when the moment comes that we have realized we love each other, I hope he feels that it is forever and eternal that we say I love you to each other until after life.