Realization to the nth

Actually I had this realization 2 days ago. Haha. After several times of asking myself why, why? I think it all comes from one thing. That everything is just sexual. I tried to get the main point of what have happened, but yeah nothing really had happened, but there is something. So, after linking all that has happened which is really nothing but has something, it all boils down to the possibility that it just something sexual and for a short time. There's no affection in there. Nothing but sexual. Daguldol had had alcohol moments. Alcohol slightly heat it up. But yeah, maybe at the peak its an exception since we already had our rest, we're already alcohol-free. But no! Maybe he still was under the influence of alcohol. Push! Even at that moment when we dipped in the sea water, that joke is nothing. Sexual that means nothing. Those Bora happenings. Well, those are just fleeting. No inhibitions daw eh. Go lang ng go. So. Period.

And. Also. I think this is waley na talaga. Hello. There are a lot of beautiful ladies he could meet at the office.  His field has also a lot of cool and beautiful girls that he could meet and could make damoves with if he wants to. So waley. Good thing that it has been kinda off my mind now. I already stopped thinking about it. Well much less compared to that before that every free time, every goddamn chance I could get to have a tulala moment, that even just closing my eyes I am asking about it and become stressed after. I'm just too overacting. Well, I really am. HEHE.

So. Bahala na si batman. Yey. Gahd. Ayoko naman na sexual lang yung meron. :/ Ok, I am just assuming and hindi nga maganda yung judgment ko. But still, never ko talaga gugustuhin na parang dahil tawag lang ng laman at libido yung like sakin. Kahit hindi mukhang ganon, kasi wala naman talaga akong sexy body and all. Kahit na beautiful face, kumbaga, 75% normal na tao lang akech. Pasang-awa na maging pasado sa standards upang maging tao. Ayun. Keri na. Pero basta. Huhuhuhu.

Sana hindi ganon. Sana hindi lang ganon na sexual. Sana mas may malalim na rason. Kasi kung ganon mas maganda. Hindi na nga lang din ako magpapahayag. Bahala na. Come what may.