Insecurity Strikes Again

Am I really not good-looking? I had a boom moment last night as one of my friend told me "Ganda mo ah!" in a sarcastic way. That was triggerred by choosing my crush between crush and friends. It's like I don't have  the chance to get a good-looking guy at all. But practically speaking, she really has a reason why she has to say that. Reality is, good-looking guys always go for hot good-looking girls. So, I shouldn't feel bad about that.

But still, what should I do to make myself look good to others? It's like nobody appreaciates me for what I am, except for my friends. Friends who also see me as a not-cutesy/not-pretty girl. Always friend-zoned.

Time to be asexual, yeah?

I know this moments are normal. Moments of searching, waiting... thinking of the what ifs. What if you have someone on your side, what if you have a fubu, JOKE. what if you're not alone, what if you are with someone doing things exploring what is out there. what if... what if....

I'm sorry, I don't get tired of this. I just want the to feel the feeling. And this craving of this feeling filtered me to this questions and insecurities that I don't know how to battle and win over them.