The fuck this one I'm watching... !@#$%^&*((_)(*&^%

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PH jitters

I am writing this post to say something about guys. I'm an  22-year old, NSBSB gal. I am being such a hopeless romantic, bitter for some other gals who had found and experienced to love and be loved, to be hurt and moved on, yet continues to finding their perfect one.

I don't have any suitors. Not even one. No one has the courage. Maybe I have the problem. Or probably. universe doesn't just want to let me because he knows very well, that I'm puss (sorry for being sexist, lol)y in  love.

I admit I registered and signed in in a porn site. I guess, I'm part of the 93% of that women who watches porn, and do that personal thing you do to satisfy yourself. And from there, my share begins.

Men really love body, yeah? I mean they start liking a person when one shows off a motive that she wants to fucking do it like by exposing some skin, your tits or you pie as a set of example. Guy would say i love you, just by a picture with your tits exposed? Come on! How would you say that you love the person, by not merely talking to that person, not knowing any-fucking-thing about that person, even seeing her in person. Oh, may be I'm just being a romantic here. I love you is really a vague set of words. I love you could mean anything, that it could also mean nothing. Just a set of words. May be he loves my body. Ok, thanks for the compliment.

Guys are really a-holes. Porn sites are a legit virtual proof to prove that. It's quite inviting to experiment and have some fun with guys online. But I'm still not into doing it. I don't know how to interact, how to speak, how to give them what they want. Like the way I don't know how to share my love if ever time comes I found the one. But I am excited and hungry to be with that one, be what I am, and express my love for him. Actually, I am overwhelmed that there are people who really appreciate my body. I never thought of that. guys are really into physical attributes and looks like fun and sex.

Ok. Let's stop here. I'm not being fair. I am generalizing men now. The truth I know is that I really don't know anything about guys. I barely know them, and know nothing about their behaviors. I have guy friends which could be counted on one's fingers. So how would I know them, and moreover, how could I say something bad about them.

But please, dear universe, if the time comes that the one and I cross our paths, meet each other deeply, I hope he is excited too to meet me. I really really hope that knows me deeply and consequently appreciates me for whatever I am. And when the moment comes that we have realized we love each other, I hope he feels that it is forever and eternal that we say I love you to each other until after life.

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Unsatisfactory Rating

Huhu. I'm quite disappointed with the PBC rating I got. I know it's ok but I felt like I need to do better this year. Knowing that my co-wave 1 got a higher PBC rating than mine. I should enroll to different trainings and  be best on what I do. Actually I don'w know hot to cope up. This is not like the college/student days where you can just study the next time for the quizzes./exams/recits that you failed to reach the best possible outcome. It's all by chance, and if there's a chance to stand out, just grab it. Unlike college wherin the professors could fairly give a similar quiz to all of you in the class; Now, it's a matter of who got the confidence.

And, so I must improve and grab any opportunities I could get that the company and God has enthrusted to me.


Bow.

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Five Days of Wetness, Boredom and FMLs

As usual, I woke up late. Prepared for our swimming lesson on time. Arrived at Ultra just on time. Coah Hyde (yuck, spelled as Hyde talaga? lol) is quite impatient for beginners as teachers. At least we improved from our first session.

Went to Megamall to pig out. We decided to fill our stomach at A Veneto. Both of us felt that we are on a gluttony mode as we see to our left and right that we almost have the same order but they were four in the group. Imagine we eat for a serving of 4-5 persons, instead of the right amount of 2. Gluttony, it is.

Still felt bored. It's my fifth day to consecutively watch ***. And I feel bad about it. It's really not healthy. Find a boyfriend or find other ways to release this tension in my body. Go climb, jog, or walk. Need to stop this.

As a sign of boredom, these are my vain photos I just took a while ago. LOL

It's Monday already. Quite tired to go to work. :/ But no choice, it's time to rest! Bye!
##

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Rambled Thoughts

Dear Universe,

It's already the 20th day of the year and yet there has been no exciting things that happened to me. Maybe it's too early for me to say. I might still have a hangover from last year's full of surprises and fun. Oh well. Tomorrow will be the resume of our swimming classes, the second session it is. I'm quite lazy to go. But I realized it would still be more meh if I don't go out tomorrow.

A while ago, I was looking for a part time job. I was looking for data entry/ data encoder posts. My subconscious has told me that I did not graduate just to end up with fucking office admin duties. I'm a UP graduate. I am creative. Why not build on them and do something else that could help me make myself suited to what I really want to do? And that is creating fucking  designs! And so I stopped.

Now I'm seriously plannning to take tutorials/lessons under PCCI. But I still need to save money for that. I so have many things that I want to do! Yet, I don't know how I can do them all. Nor I do know from which and where to start among them either. Sigh!

Life.

Thinking, Queene

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Dear Universe

Dear Lord,
Dear Universe,

My heart wants to burst now. As in now. Help me.

Still with love from my rushing heart, Queene

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