When boredom shoo'd away, bad realizations came

This is a boring day. I was finding things I could do over the net just to kill it until I stumbled upon some people on twitter. I think I just got depressed while unraveling things. So that's how it works. I'm now really afraid for my career life. And a little about my love life? Chos. Insecurity is back. I'm afraid that we won't be a good match anymore. That maybe he could have a lot of higher priorities i  life. And that I could not be a viable match for him because there would come a time that we're not of the same level anymore.

Getting back on my career, I don't know how I am feeling this. You know, it seems that my state in life and career is all right, but not. This really makes me confused. :/ Maybe, I'm just comparing myself to others. I'm being insecure and becoming worried, a little inferior as my friends are really professionals/becoming professionals. But thinking of K, he is not a licensed someone. But he's really good. And that sets him apart from everyone else. Same goes with R. So how would I be a good or a better one? As  C's sister told us just yesterday, you should know how to play the ball. Oh I remember how my boss do it. He sounds like he is always capable. He surely knows how to get out of things. But in reality, he is not. I should really know how to do it. Despite my years of experience, I should know how to play the ball through words, through good communication and projection. Oh, how I wish I really got this. But dude, I'm a wimp on that part.

So my plan, I'll follow what Ate L told me. I would try to transfer to another role after 18 -24 months. Then, I will enroll and study IT or anything related to SAP. How to start this? God, help me. Shed me some light. I know you're there, as always. :)