this. thanks. bye. hello 2014.

THIS. THIS ANSWERS IT ALL. T_T

"the worst part of liking somebody is the process where you discover that it’s turning into an unrequited love. it’s the deadly combination of hope, wishful thinking, and overthinking.

hope that maybe it’s possible for the two of us to be together. wishful thinking that you possibly have feelings for me as well. overthinking that an action of yours was meant to convey something
but this is where the delusion stops, or at least when i try to stop it. Seeing how the effort i put out isn’t the same as the effort you put in.

i try hard just to communicate to you in some form, no matter how busy i get. i have always been the one to move first. i have always been the one to ask how were you doing. i have always been the one to drop subtle and major hints. i have always been the one to try.

but you? your replies are confined with less than 10 words (while mine, a novel). your replies come dozens of minutes after i send a message (while mine are in seconds). you turn down my offers to go out together (which takes a lot of my courage). you don't initiate conversations or even try to (while i can’t even go a week without seeing/talking to you). you treat me in no different way than your other friends (although you have the tendency to be too sweet and caring, which just confuses me more).

i’m sorry, i guess, with your very friendly attitude, i didn’t quite catch the signals earlier.

it seems that in the end i am the only one who gets flustered by your replies (and get butterflies). i am the only one who gets ecstatically happy from your hugs (even if you normally give out hugs to everyone). i am the only one who misinterprets your intentions and actions (and misinterpret them, i do so dearly). i am the only one developing feelings. i am the only one falling in love.

the sad truth is that you probably never even have considered me that way - that i carry these feelings alone.

and the one to carry this pain
the one to suffer in secrecy
is me and me alone.

in the end, my fate will and had always been what i have expected it to be -

i am the only one in love."

HopelessCase 200X CS"