Just a Friend

This thought is always a question, or probably a fact: I AM THE FUNNY FRIEND. Just a friend. Yeah, oh yeah. What's wrong with being a friend?! Good thing I've got some friends whom I consider as true. But it's depressing that they just view me as a friend. I know for myself that I'm not a love-at-first-sight-girl material on the grounds that I'm a snob, serious looking, panicky girl at first. Also, I'm a choosy kind of person to begin with. The times I started to become friends with guys,  I know for sure that i'm just like a  sister to them, a person you can be with to avoid off airs. Having said that, it comes to my mind that I'll never be going to have that special guy in my life. Probably, I could be a home wrecker or a cougar (which I don't ever want to be) because I'm so desperate due to extreme emptiness of feeling how to love and be loved. I am assuming and hoping that maybe the one whom I''m going to be with is a long time friend who knows me well inside out. It's impossible for that person to be a guy whom just for the first meeting his sincerely going to eye me for a courtship spectacle. NAAAAA! IMPOSIBLE! 


I hope there's this someone destined for me. I don't want to be alone. And in reality, who wanted to be? I have thought before that it's fine not to have someone in your life. At least, you don't have additional problems to think of.... But it's really heartbreaking to be alone. It's fine for a day, 1 week or so. But there'll come  a point that you'll be seeking for something that is lacking, and that is happiness. You'll never find happiness by yourself. I believe, it's always a 2 or more person thing... I'm still waiting.....