Rejection 2

This is my second time to be rejected. But I consider this as less hurting than my first rejection before. I prayed a lot that God lead me to a career path where I can show my full potentials, a path that would lead me to be successful and happy. (Which is also not clear to me as I really don't know how to measure success in one's career; one thought to be pondered upon) So, that's what I am praying for. And here, God gave an opportunity last month to be noticed and to be interviewed by McK***** & C******. Without having any knowledge about the company, but upon researching I learned that it's one of the best. And so, I accepted the invitaion and got interviewed six time by people from different levels. Got amazed by one of the interviewers, Ber****, whom by chance is a highschool mate from an upper batch. She's really good. Really, really good. I prayed a lot that God would help me change company and that I'll be accepted. And today, I got the news. I did not made it.

You know. This is kinda weird because a I just felt a slight disappointment with myself. I did my job, but yeah my best wasn't good enough. But I believe God has purpose why this happened. I never asked for it and He gave it to me. I never made it but I learned my lessons. I am always praying that God would help me bring me to the right path, but I myself never do my job. I pray and just let time pass without doing anything to improve on myself. After the interview, I learned that I should know how to prioritize things, and how to manage my time. And yes, I want challenges and I want to be good. But I'm always afraid to deal with difficult situations. I avoid them when they are in front of me. I must learn how to deal with them with composure. When it's my fault and my manager checks on me why I wasn't able to meet it, why I got escalated, I get angry and put the blame on her even it was my fault. Theses are some of the things I realized.  I am looking for a better opportunity but i never learn on how to improve my own self. I never get matured. I can't complain forever. I got escalated but I still handle things without concern. I should treat them as my own. It is for myself, not solely for the company. I should avoid to commit my mistake as previous mistakes are lessons. They are done and already in the past so they shall never happen again.

How am I as  a team player?
How do you deal with a difficult person in the team? Personal? Professional?
What really are my long-term goals?
How do I see myself 5 years from now?
How do I deal with difficult situations?
How will my manager describe me/

^^Questions that I don;t know to answer because I don't care. This looks like I am really lacking. I must set my goals.